John Griffiths-Colby

Celebrant, speaker, writer.

ABOUT ME
John Griffiths-Colby, author, speaker and satirist, sitting at his laptop

NEW SERVICE

Introducing Astolat Celebrant

Astolat Celebrant provides funeral and memorial services, naming day ceremonies and wedding day celebrations too. Based in East Surrey we cover Surrey, Sussex, Kent and Hampshire but are always happy to discuss events further afield. We can also help coordinate livestreamed events with venues around the globe.

Non-religious services sound like they might be without feeling, warmth and belief; they are not. They are simply services that don’t fall within the demarcation of the ‘mainstream’ religions. In essence, they can be what you want them to be,

From the first chat right up to the day itself we have a lot of flexibility around what is possible and the tailoring of this ultimate celebration is at the centre of what we do at Astolat.

Learn more

AS FEATURED IN

Front page of the Topper comic from 1977
Cover of Italian Bike Magazine
New Statesman magazine cover
Front cover of Folio magazine from 1993

BUY MY BOOKS

Spit The Dummy And Run

A sharp, satirical collection of 170+ brand new words and their definitions – designed specifically as a response to all those gut-wrenching business buzz words we hear every day

VISIT AMAZON

Oldhatsman : Compers Meant This

OldHatsman is a collection of over 200 short, sharp satires and parodies based on the Author’s entries to the New Statesman magazine’s weekly writing competition. 

VISIT AMAZON

Nina’s Pal Al

Nina has a school assignment to complete but can’t find any frogs. Her search unearths a very odd Snail who she names Al. What follows is a rollercoaster adventure as she tries to help Al get better after an unfortunate accident with a lawnmower.

VISIT AMAZON

NEWSLETTER SIGN-UP

subscribe

Sign up here for all the latest updates and news from Absurvd.com.




READ THE BLOG

The Inadvertant Challenge

Not to be confused with the Shill Gambit or Occam’s Razor, I’d rather call this [...]

READ
Brighton Early, Bright and Later

Tales From Europe – 40 – Released 7 March 2023 Just as the latest season [...]

READ
Well Met by Boathouse

Sitting down to write this I’m eagerly anticipating the arrival of When Rivers Meet’s limited [...]

READ
Misogynist By A Mile

Misogynists must step up and learn to hate more inclusively or risk being left behind [...]

READ
Virtue Signallers Flee UK Rain Amid Fears of Balaclava Backlash

Pockets of traumatised do-gooders from the Home Counties of England have formed a convoy of [...]

READ
BRAVO TOO MUCH

That’s the thing about being Special Forces, you tell yourself it’s a job but that [...]

READ
MAPPING & WEB

As a child I was always drawn to books that had maps in their end [...]

READ
Landfill Mines to Close by 2135

Timeline: October 2121 It is now estimated the exploitation the 20/21st Century Landfill Mines will [...]

READ

REVIEWS

For everyone who has ever sat through interminable, and completely useless, meetings, or wondered when someone in authority will have the sense to pull the plug on the god-awful project you have been saddled with, this book is for you.

It’s one of those books where most pages will produce a wry smile, and some will make you laugh out loud. A great read.

Dennis Chapman, Amazon Review

I know deep down that crowding a dozen unwilling people into a room for no particular reason has comic potential, but it eludes me. I search for the cutting quip, that Dilbert moment, but something has been sucked from my brain, and I find myself mutely nodding; anxious for it to end in time to get to Pret before the sushi runs out.

Imagine now that Dilbert had a lexicographer. How good would that be….

Amazon Review

Finally – we have a new way to describe the daily trials and tribulations of the work place. Witty satire at its finest.

Kal, Amazon Review

Many thanks for your fascinating and well-researched talk just now. I would recommend this talk whole-heartedly to other groups.

Robert Slater, Tunbridge Wells U3A