An exponential growth area during the pandemic has been the uptake in virtual Anathema Yoga classes. Originally a minority splinter group of My AngerTM Yoga, Anathema has become increasingly popular for people with intermittent broadband service who don’t mind holding position for extended periods of time without instruction.
YOGI BARE YOUR SOUL
Anathema Yogis teach an awakening in pupils to create a realisation of how rubbish everything actually is. Positions (Arsenders) are designed to extend existing moods – such as the Backward Black Dog, Worrier I, Worrier II and The Anxious Buddha. Anathema Yoga addresses the classic disconnect of modern life: that we are led to believe ‘everything will be OK in the end’ whilst ignoring all of life’s lessons to the contrary.
ROCK AND HUM
Most classes start with the traditional arsender that welcomes the day: The Surrender to the Scum. As the mind accepts this truth, the body will slump into the familiar Cobblers position or the Crow, whichever is available to the participant. Or if you can’t be bothered at all, it’s just OK to rock and hum in the fetal position as you experience the entire world’s chaos and bollocks overwhelming you. This is OK too. You may experience very familiar emotions and want to cry uncontrollably. If you do, keep it to yourself or cover it up by farting loudly. As they say in Anathema – I’manasty.
Very pertinent. I have a Pilates teacher who is a Covid denier. Being a smoker and coming from a malarial zone of South Africa, she has a persistent low-grade fever and cough. I find that when she has a coughing fit into your face while trying to rearrange your plank, there’s only so long you can hold your breath.
I took comfort from a recent TV ad campaign in which a bearded fat man extols the virtue of YouTube yoga because, ‘One: it’s free. And two: you don’t have to do it.’ Wise words.