Government has confirmed that informal Glass Ceiling arrangements that have existed since the dawn of time will be extended until the end of this century. Post-pandemic concerns that individuals might have lost a sense of knowing their place, are being addressed by a raft of inactivity most of which is being kept under wraps immediately.

In a press statement a Totally Permanent Under Secretary said: “As a minimum the current arrangements should be allowed to bed in until at least 2099 just so we are clear who’s in charge around here.” To date most of Europe and indeed the world have chosen to opt out of the Working Crime Directive which has long been seen by alien races as quite bizarre. The opt out clause has been justified globally for several millennia on the basis of natural just is, i.e. “It’s the way it just is.”

RIGHT ROYAL PANE IN THE GLASS

There are increasing calls for the informal Glass Ceiling to be made more inclusive and that access for all to be enshrined in shrines. “It is clear that the privileged have been excluded from this inclusive ‘club’ for far too long and should be given the same restrictions as anyone else”.

However, few can deny how successful the Glass Ceiling has been in terms of its universal application, apart from the rest of the universe. Speaking from where he keeps his money, Viscount Primo Janitor of Inertia pointed out that nothing breeds success like in-breeding, “If I ain’t broke, don’t fix it. The system clearly works for people like me and I think I’m entitled to say that.” The Viscount had previously been accused of applying double-glazing when it came to workplace ethics. His response has always been, “What can I say? I’m a ceiling half full kind of guy”.

CONSERVATIVE PUTTY

Sasha Glazed-Panel, spokeswheel for action group VeluxNow! and former Conservatory MP for Mullion and Roofin, has been making the case for a clearer view of opacity in the workplace. “Frosting out is all well and good but we need a toughened approach to restrictive atria so people are aware of how far they will ever go and who that applies to. That seems transparent.”

YOU TRANSOM, YOU LOSE SOME

Transitional options are under discussion with action groups to ensure those who’s ‘face just doesn’t fit’ have automatic inclusion under the Glass Ceiling and access to the kind of restrictions needed to safeguard the place they need to stay in. Speaking from a poly-tunnel in Glasshouses, she continued, “You have to feel for the privileged; how confusing must it be to wake up every morning knowing your possibilities are unlimited? It can only be traumatising. Let’s bring them into the bifold and get them the help they need. It’s brilliant that the Glass Ceiling has been extended indefinitely but we really do need to make big steps on the inclusivity front.”

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